Episode Transcript
[00:00:02] Mindset matters.
[00:00:05] Hi, I'm Dr. Charisse Johnson, a licensed clinical mental health therapist, mindfulness practitioner, and author. One of my primary specialties is working with individuals who want to heal their relationship with food, their body, and themselves. Welcome to Mindset Matters. One of the primary specialties that I work with, whether that's in mental fitness or one on one or sometimes with organizations, centers around emotional eating. It is a very complicated, nuanced dynamic in our lives, and there's a lot of misconceptions around what is emotional eating? Why does it show up? How do you stop it? And let's get into it. Let's consider this the beginning of a series around emotional eating, because it is definitely not something that we can wrap up in one episode. The most basic general definition for emotional even eating is the propensity to eat in response to either positive or negative emotions. And the reason why I want to say it that way is for us to recognize we all eat from emotions. It is completely normal to go, man, it's been a hard day. This sounds like something that I would enjoy eating. Sure. It becomes an issue when we notice that eating our emotions is a coping skill. When it's something that we recognize, we repeatedly do to the point where it is causing harm to us mentally or physically. When we know we're engaging with food in a way that we are using food to manage our emotions. If we think about reasons why we eat, there are two or three basic reasons why all of us eat. One, to satisfy the needs of the body. Food is fuel. And we have taste buds and sensory aspects of our lives that make us want to eat and to engage in eating. And our body and our brain needs food in order to function. So that's completely appropriate. The other element of why we eat is out of a place of physical hunger. So, yes, there's the fuel that we need. But then we have physical signs and symptoms that the body is in need of more. And then three, we're eating to satisfy the needs of the mind. And that is where eating can be complicated. I want to hop back to the fact that I said you can eat for positive or negative emotions. And if you think about it, take a moment and think about this. A lot of the things that we do and the interactions that we have and the engagements that we have with friends and family are often centered around food. And it's what makes it so difficult. Unlike other addictions or substances, food is not something that we can do without. So that means that one of the most important things that all of us can do is to work to become comfortable with our relationship with food and our trust in ourselves. One of my most basic concepts and goals for anybody that I work with or support is for you to experience a level of food freedom. What does that mean? It means that you trust your ability to honor your hunger, to honor your satiety and your fullness, to honor your taste preferences and not feel like you need to be in this cycle of restrictive dynamics, or to go back and forth between restricting and binging, which is eating outside of what your body needs or can handle. Let's get into some misconceptions around emotional eating. Number one, emotional eating is a sign of weakness. The number of times that I have heard individuals beat themselves up and say, what is wrong with me?
[00:04:10] You are not weak.
[00:04:12] Eating also is not a matter of discipline and self will. There is definitely an element of change choice that is involved with eating. We decide and we choose. Can I stop when I'm done? We choose. What am I going to eat? Am I going to give myself the amount of variety that I need in order to get the nutrients that I need? But there's also a host of neurobiological factors, biological, physiological and psychological factors that are involved in how we eat. While I would love to get into all of those, I cannot. However, if you want a resource that centers more around emotional eating, find my mental fitness resources. And there is a course that extensively goes through Emotional Eating 101. I want to pinpoint that as a resource and that will give you a lot more neuroscience and understanding and an ability to on demand work through all of the depths of what it means to emotionally eat and and how to solve it. But it's not a sign of weakness. We believe that relying on food for our emotions indicates a lack of willpower or self control. But emotions are a complex behavior and they're going to be influenced, just like I said, by a number of different things. And as long as we're living, that is always going to somewhat involve food. Second misconception is that only overweight individuals engage in emotional eating. Also false. While emotions can be more noticeable in people who appear to struggle with their weight, we all, at any given size, can have moments where there's a positive or negative or even neutral emotion that makes us more likely to engage in eating a specific kind of food. I also want to take a moment and acknowledge here that we cannot appropriately look at someone and fully determine by their weight and size their relationship with food. I know we believe that we can. I know that We've been conditioned to believe that that's true, but it's not. People can have a healthy, adaptive, appropriate relationship with food at any given size. So if that's something that you've thought about yourself or you've thought about others, this is an opportunity to kind of gut check. Number three, emotional eating is only about food. It's not. It's not just about that one specific food or that group of foods that you notice that you go after. There's this inner hunger. There is things like the desire to be comforted, the desire to find balance, a need to avoid an emotion that you feel like is too much. And as a result of avoiding the emotion that you feel like is too much, you want to consume something that brings you back into a place of perceived balance and harmony. There's the aspect of engaging with food because maybe it's been too long since you've eaten. And then once you start to eat, you're so hungry, the body pushes you for more. And as a result of that biological need, you may over consume because the brain is now conditioned to thinking, well, this person is starving. So the moment they eat something again, cue them to eat everything.
[00:07:51] There are multiple reasons that we turn to food. For example, sometimes food is the most accessible thing that we have to create a level of dopamine, a happy neurotransmitter that makes us feel better than what we're feeling. Food can also be something that we feel like. It's there for me. It's something that has been part of your life for a very long time. And maybe even as a child you were taught, when times are hard, eat. When times are great, eat. If you're having a bad day, eat. If you're having a great day, eat.
[00:08:30] That is not uncommon in the emotional eating class. I'll actually go into really understanding some of those historical dynamics. And as we go through this entire series around emotional eating, I'm absolutely going to hit childhood historical traumas and how that may also impact the way that we engage with food. So make sure that you stay connected. Number four, all comfort foods are bad. Oh, we don't want to see any food as bad. And I'm going to stop and let that sink in for a moment.
[00:09:07] When we are constantly categorizing food as good or bad, it can lead us to viewing ourselves the same way. So tell me if this has ever been you. On the days that you feel like you eat all the right things, then you consider yourself good and you feel great about yourself. But then on the days that you have something or one thing that you consider bad, you feel bad and you feel awful and you beat yourself up and you begin talking to yourself in negative and critical factors. Well, if that is the case, that can create a very unhealthy relationship with food and creates a moral code or morality around food that can be very harmful for you. Becoming one with yourself, understanding your relationship with food, and being able to operate through a level of food freedom. All foods fit in moderation. It's important for you to know and understand your body, your body's biological needs, your specific autoimmune challenges, or any other physical issues that you may have, or food intolerances or allergies. All of those components go into what is good for your specific body. Maybe if you remember nothing else out of what I say today, I want you to leave here with the message that all foods fit in moderation. But what's good for your body is unique to you and different than what may be good for my body. For example, I have celiac, so gluten is not good for me. It impacts me physically, it impacts me emotionally and in a host of other ways due to autoimmune challenges that I have. But you might be a person that. You have no issue with that. So if you were to try to set your way of eating against my way of eating, first of all, you would be a little unhappy because you would be taking out things that you know that you could have. But that level of comparison is unhealthy. And when, when we remove things from our diet, what we're eating that we actually need, that can also increase the likelihood that you're going to emotionally eat and eat in a way that feels feverish simply because you're not getting the amount of nutrients that you need. So, quick recap. Misconceptions about emotional eating. Number one, emotional eating is a sign of weakness. Number two, only overweight individuals engage in emotional eating. Number three, emotional eating is only about food. Number four. Four, all comfort foods are bad. Number five, emotional eating is always unhealthy. Anytime we use the word always and never, we're going to an extreme. It is okay for you to eat from a place of emotion, within reason. Here's an example. You are celebrating the fact that you just accomplished something, and as a result of that accomplishment, you decide, I want to go out with the people that I love and I want to go to my favorite Mexican restaurant and have whatever I want. Yes, please, that is an appropriate thing for you to do. There's nothing Wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with going, man, I have not had this in a while. That sounds really good. Again, where it gets complicated is when we notice that we're leaning towards one way of eating in a manner that is showing up physically and emotionally. If we notice, oh, I'm not eating very many fruits or vegetables or whole grains, but I am in a place where I'm constantly craving these specific foods over and over and over. And I know that they're connected to some level of my emotions or trying to avoid my emotions. And I recognize that they're also making me feel bad. A big part of what you will constantly hear me also consider is not just how something is impacting you emotionally, but how are you noticing the way that it organizes in your nervous system. I want you to consider this. I want you to think about the foods that you know. I love these foods, but these foods do not love me.
[00:13:31] And part of how you know they don't love you back is because of the way that they make you feel after you eat them. We disconnect so often from the fact that our mind, our emotions, or memory told us that food was exactly what we needed in that moment. That was going to be the solve to everything that we're experiencing. It's really not.
[00:13:57] But then we get to a point that we realize, man, but on the other side of that, I didn't feel great.
[00:14:05] I got a headache, broke out in hives, started to feel flushed, fell asleep because the sugar in whatever you were eating was so high that the body needed to shut you down to rest in order to restore. You got a stomach ache. You notice that you begin to have brain fog or feel like you're in a food coma. Those are all physical signs and emotional signs that can also follow. Cheerfulness, anxiety, sadness that let us know that we're engaging with too much of something. So it's not about an all or none dynamic. I can never have this again. But it is about understanding what's kind of the balance to what you can have and what you can consume. What's the reason behind what you're eating? One of the questions that we often talk about in emotional eating 101 is, what are you hungry for?
[00:15:05] If you could take that food or foods or food group that you repeatedly hunger for and really consider, what role is it serving? What need is it meeting in your life? That's when you're getting to the root of emotional eating. There's always an emotional driver behind the things that we feel like we have to have. Let me give you another example here. We have physiological hunger and we have psychological hunger. Physiological hunger means I recognize some physical sign or symptom that I'm in need of food. We get a little bit of saliva in our mouth, we start to feel a little uneasy in our heart or our chest. And that means we are really well beyond the point of hunger. We might notice a few hunger pains if we are even in tune with with the physical signs of hunger. On the psychological side of hunger, those are the moments where you want a specific thing. And even though you've eaten enough to be physically full, you have this intense craving. And there's a part of you that feels like you cannot be satisfied until that craving is met. That is how we know that you've entered the realm of emotional eating. And if we pay attention to ourselves and our habits and understand ourselves, we'll know that there are certain foods that usually meet that psychological hunger. But that's a beautiful opportunity which we'll get into in the weeks ahead for you to be able to acknowledge something is not okay and what I really need actually can't be found on my plate. What I really need actually can't be found at the bottom of that bag. What I really need is greater than whatever it is I'm about to consume. And the emotion that you are working very hard to manage or to avoid is only going to be temporarily dealt with by putting food in as a way to distance yourself from what you feel like is too much or what you feel like you can't handle.
[00:17:29] Emotional eating is something that we all do, but it is also a counterfeit for effectively managing life. And I'm going to slow down there and just let that hit for a moment because that probably resonates with quite a few of you. Let me also say this before I continue understanding that you are a person that may lean towards emotional eating or something that you've struggled with for maybe what seems like all your life doesn't mean that you are broken.
[00:17:59] It is not horrible and terrible, although it may feel that way. It is not, again, a sign of weakness or low will or or lack of willpower. It is a reality that somewhere along the way there are some other coping skills that you need in order to manage life and they have been managed by food instead. But I want you to hear that better is absolutely possible Other misconceptions around emotional eating. Once you start emotional eating, you cannot stop. You can. It does not matter how long you've struggled with emotional eating. It is possible Through a number of different ways to work on emotional eating and finding other ways to manage your emotions outside of food. It's uncomfortable. Like, let's be real, food is there, it's easy, it's accessible, sometimes it's cheap. It's a very quick way of us shifting our emotional state, our physical state, the state of our nervous system is altered by specific foods and substances. It's why we become addicted to eating certain things or to drinking certain things, or to smoking certain things. So let me say as a caveat, when I talk about the dynamic of emotional eating, I am talking about anything that you consume, anything external that you can digest is a part of what we may go after. It is possible to stop. And it's important for you to say that to yourself. Even if you aren't at the point that you believe it yet, it is still important for you to be able to say, this is something that I can improve. It is possible to break the cycle of emotional eating. But it's going to be helpful for you to determine what will you need, which I do promise I will get into, because I can hear it. I can hear those of you who are watching and listening going, well, tell me, I want to know the answer. It is not that simple. And that's why I'm not just going to go here, do these 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 things and you're going to be able to stop the cycle of emotional eating forever. Because that is not true. Remember what I said earlier. It's intricate, it's biological, it's psychological, it's social, it's emotional. There are a lot of factors which you will learn about along the way that go into realigning and resetting and learning to meet with yourself and acknowledge your met and unmet needs and get to the core of the biological needs that may also be disrupted in order for you to eat in a way that is balanced. But just hang in there and stay with me.
[00:20:57] Last misconception that I'll focus on for today is that emotional eating is a permanent habit. Now, I know that six and seven sound a little bit different. Six, I said emotional eating is something that once you start, you can't stop. And I say that for people who may find that their emotional eating leans towards binge eating, where you feel like once you start, there's something in your brain that triggers, that can never turn off. But remember that it does, because you eventually hit a point where your fullness or your physical discomfort stops you. That's the reminder that you can find that Place where you know, okay, this is too much. I've hit my threshold. The other piece in number seven, that emotional eating is a permanent habit, where I want that to be a part part of you understanding that that's not true is people often think that emotional eating is an inescapable part of your personality. But in reality, it can be changed and it can be addressed over time if you are personally willing to do the work. One thing that I can say is emotional eating does not stop on its own.
[00:22:18] It is not something that you can just wish away. It's also not something that can ever be fully worked through in one simple way. Let me add this in. For example, GLP1s such as semaglitude or tize, often known as bongiorno, govy or zempic, are common right now. They've been common. Actually, over time, they're just becoming even more common and well known.
[00:22:52] People who struggle with emotional eating can find that GLP1s, for example, may be very helpful and beneficial for the part of their brain and body that has a propensity to to emotionally eat or binge eat excessively. However, that element, tool alone is not enough to keep you from breaking the habit of emotional eating. It is a tool. It is something that I will talk about in the future in a great bit of depth. But individuals, for example, who use that as a tool to work on their emotional eating would also want to layer that with appropriate nutrition for their body. That is met with a dietitian who is given guidance. It would also mean learning to exercise and engage in exercise in a way that is great for your adrenals, that is great for your body, that is great for your cardiovascular health, that is also going to support muscle, right? And gaining muscle, that helps burn fat and metabolism and makes you feel good and makes you feel strong may also be met with that tool and emotional eating and making sure that you are a part of a group or going through a course like Emotional Eating 101, or working with a nutrition, a certified nutrition coach or therapist to get to the underlying factors that are at the root of your emotional eating. What I want you to gather from these misconceptions, and specifically this part of our conversation, there are no quick fixes to breaking up and detaching from emotional eating. A level of emotional eating is present in all of us, is appropriate, but it requires us to sit with, how did I get here?
[00:25:01] Let me take a look back. Let me trace. What are those early thoughts that I have about myself and food and what did I learn from my family of origin? When did food become everything to me? What do I feel when I can't engage or choose not to engage or I'm trying not to engage in using food to meet the needs that would actually be better method through other means in my life.
[00:25:31] Breaking the cycle of emotional eating is an emotional process and it is a layered and complex and nuanced dynamic that is absolutely possible for your life. Here's what I'd like you to do so that you can move from thought to action. I want you to go through and hopefully you were kind of taking notes and writing down some of these misconceptions. What would you add to the list? When you think about your misconceptions or your beliefs, the things that feel very real for you around emotional eating, what would you add to the list and how do those misconceptions that you know that you have for yourself keep you tied and connected into believing?
[00:26:19] This is just who I am. There's nothing I can do about this because there is. Better is possible. Do not give up hope.
[00:26:32] You can heal your relationship with food. You can operate from a place of food freedom where you have the ability and the capacity to honor your taste preferences, your choices, your satiety and your fullness without fearing that if you eat something, you won't be able to stop. And this is just another part of your journey. Maybe you've already been working on your emotional eating. Maybe this is the first time you've ever given yourself the opportunity to really consider it or to think about it. But you're telling yourself just maybe. Maybe you've been back and forth. Maybe you've been through seasons of life where you're like, I was emotionally eating and then I was doing better and then I always go back. Wherever you find yourself, better is possible.
[00:27:25] I'm not going to tell you that I'm here to solve all of that for you. Not unless we're in one on one relationship, in a therapeutic relationship and we work together. But I can say that this is a place that you will find education, that you will find insight and you will find hope. So don't give up on yourself. Do the very best you can and we'll connect soon. Be well.
