Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: What up? What up? Welcome back to the Bad podcast. Brad and Dwayne in the building. My brother Brad. We're gonna call this part two, baby. Bradley.
[00:00:08] Speaker B: Yes, yes.
[00:00:08] Speaker A: Let's talk about part two, man.
[00:00:10] Speaker B: Part two. I got a quote from William James. The community stagnates without the impulse of the individual. The impulse dies away without the sympathy of. Yeah, sympathy of the community.
[00:00:22] Speaker A: All right, let's get it.
[00:00:27] Speaker B: Are you ready? Are you ready?
[00:00:44] Speaker A: What it looked like, Would it be like, what it do back in here? Another episode of the Bad Podcast. Brad and Dwayne, super excited to be coming to you again with another episode on this Monday morning or whenever you're listening to this, like Brad say, wherever you are in the big, beautiful world.
[00:00:58] Speaker B: That's right.
[00:00:59] Speaker A: Whatever time it is, you know, whenever you listen, we're super excited to have you, man. Shout out to my YouTube crew, man. There's a YouTube faithful crew that comment every week that I love to read and I try to like when I can. Please keep those comments coming. We appreciate it so much. We hitting the part two on this one. Brad, before we jump in, I'll let you say your spiel, but I. I really like that we're hitting a part two on this one because it felt like we ran out of time, like we wanted to keep going, and we both got things going on and we couldn't. So it's good to come back to this and maybe y'. All, maybe. No promises. Maybe we'll stay on topic this time.
[00:01:36] Speaker B: No promises. I'll preface with that.
[00:01:41] Speaker A: What'd you get? What's going on in your world, man? Before we get going.
[00:01:44] Speaker B: Yeah, man. Just. Just thankful to be on another podcast, you know, when we started this journey 149 weeks ago, which is just mind blowing sometimes. That's. That's. I mean, we're rolling up on three years, right? I mean, 1, 1, 159 would be three years.
[00:01:59] Speaker A: Math is not my jam.
[00:02:00] Speaker B: 56. 156 would be three years. So in seven. Seven weeks, we'll be rolling up on three years, which is just mind blowing. So grateful to be on the pod again with you, D. And, you know, we are having a part two to what we were talking about last week. And last week we were talking about community and men in specific, but women as well. Community is so impactful and in such a. An imperative role in a lot of our lives for a handful of reasons. And we're going to touch on a couple of those reasons today. One, you know, just having a belonging and an Identity. You know, for many years people were very, very proud to wear the shirt that you are wearing. Wearing the shirt that I am wearing that says E2M. And there's a lot of thousands, thousands of people that are still extremely proud to wear that shirt. Why? Because it gave, it gave people a sense of belonging. It gave them an identity. You know, we even call ourselves, hey, are you an e2 emer? Right, right. And you hear that from time to time out in society. But it gives you a sense of belonging. And you know, when you have a sense of belonging, it is so great for your mental health. And that's one of the things that society sees shifting gears with today. Like mental health is declining, yet it's getting a whole lot more focus. And the reason that it's getting a lot more focus is because of 2020, because we went into a pandemic and we went into a shutdown and people.
It was a heightened sense of awareness with mental health. So when you're not surrounded by folks, like minded folks, you're not surrounded by an emotional support group, you start to see that emotional and mental decline.
I mentioned it last week. Somebody's giving me a call.
I mentioned it last week. You know, I've seen that decline emotionally and mentally with myself and my own personal journey because I do work remote. I had, I had the prime opportunity to work with two colleges.
So if you're listening to this on Monday, yesterday I worked with Fredonia State College, the ladies basketball team.
Last week worked with the JCC college hockey team.
And you know, when I have a sense of belonging and identity, you know, I have a, have a role, right, and an impactful role with those teams.
It boosts my mental morale. So get, get around folks. And, and that's sort of what we're going to talk about today is just, you know, surrounding yourself with like minded people, driven people. Like we've mentioned it before, if you want to be a millionaire, surround yourself with four millionaires. You want to be a bum, Surround yourself with four bums, you'll be the fifth. So that's what we're going to talk about today. Community collaboration, learning the skills that you get the information and the resources.
[00:04:41] Speaker A: No, no, that's good, man. You know, thinking about that, I always, I always used to make the joke growing up that I didn't have friends.
And the reason why I said that is because I have cousins about 10 or 12 around my age.
And that was my circle, that was my community.
And so because of that, those guys, I don't Call them friends as family, but it was still my community. And I didn't know how. I mean, I knew how important they were to me, but I always kind of felt like I was different when people, like, you know, I need to be around people. You know, I was like, no, I got my cousins. I'm good. I don't have friends. I got. But I said all that to say that mindset of having them makes my isolation time different because I was working remote before.
[00:05:31] Speaker B: It was cool.
[00:05:32] Speaker A: I always tell people I was working remote in 2019, but before the pandemic, I remember mornings, you know, watching my wife and kids, you know, back out of the driveway and it's cold, and I got my robe on and my.
Yeah, man, I felt bad for him, man. I made sure I could make sure the car is warm for him, you know, made sure they had breakfast. But. But I was working remote then. And so during that time. But like I said before, you know, everybody had to do it because I think it's more of a culture shock and I'm going somewhere. That's why I want to bring that up. But during that time, like, I didn't feel isolated even going into the pandemic, because in my mind, like, I always had my cousins, like, you know, whether it was a phone call or a hangout or whatever.
My wife, on the other hand, was. Is the office social butterfly. She is the.
Whose birthday is it? Let's go to lunch?
You know, blah, blah, blah. But pandemic happened, and. And she actually, you know, adopted or, you know, became super anxious. Like, anxiety set in because she was missing that piece that. I mean, I was here, but I could, you know, I can't do it so much.
[00:06:44] Speaker B: Sure.
[00:06:44] Speaker A: And. And she was missing that, you know, and on top, Brad. We moved to a different city during the time, so not only, you know, you home with. With the kids and your husband, but then also you isolated from the friends that you knew. You don't know nobody here, you know, so it. I saw firsthand how when we, you know, joined E2M and. And gained that. That virtual community, how that in itself just kind of changed the trajectory of her life and mine as well, because, you know, that became mine as well, and it guided me to where I am now. But just seeing those two different dynamics, two different personalities, how they deal with that, because, you know, we speak in the thousands of folks, man, and. And everybody.
Some people need that social. Some people cool with it. You know, like, I'm cool with it, but, you know, it's One of those things.
[00:07:34] Speaker B: Well, I'm glad that you brought up the isolation piece, because I was just reading. I. I told the folks last week that I've been, you know, kind of diving in and researching a lot of this information. And one of the projects that I was just reading recently, a couple of days ago, was loneliness and isolation is actually compared to smoking 15 cigarettes a day, day in the turn, in terms of a. Of a health impact. Like, you talk about higher rates of depression and anxiety and all these things.
Fifteen cigarettes?
[00:08:03] Speaker A: Wait a minute, man. Yeah, the equivalent of cigarettes. You remember that documentary Eggs was like smoking cigarette.
[00:08:10] Speaker B: Come on now.
I don't know if I saw that.
[00:08:13] Speaker A: Yeah, they was like, it was trying to prove the eggs was bad. And it was like, oh, eating eggs is like smoking a cigarette. I was like, ain't no way.
Anyway.
[00:08:22] Speaker B: No, no.
Yeah. I mean, the comparison is. Is around 15, like a dozen cigarettes a day. You know, being in complete isolation and having that loneliness feeling. And that's why you're seeing this higher rate of depression nowadays is because a lot of people aren't going into the office anymore. And it's really affecting our mental health. And you know what. And what happens with that mental health, too, is it spills over into our families, it spills over into our workplace, it spills over into so many different areas of our lives. And, you know, and then even furthermore, it impacts our friends. Right. If. If I'm. If I'm in isolation and then I started to experience these. These mental health issues, then I'm not reaching out. I'm not being proactive to reach out with my friends. I'm not being proactive to hang out with my buddies. Why? Because now I. Now I'm experiencing something personal.
And when I start to experience that thing, that, that personal feeling, I. I go in deeper and deeper and deeper into that isolation. And then I almost want the isolation. I almost want to be lonely so I can deal with that myself.
And then I'm not, like I said, I'm not reaching out to that friend, and I start to lose that connection with a buddy or a family member, whatever it is. And that's where that 15 cigarettes comes into play. You are so deep into isolation, you. You. You don't even know that it's impacting your health until that one day that you have the aha moment. Like, holy cow, I'm not. I'm not feeling very well mentally or physically or emotionally. Well, this is why I. I am. I am regressing on the daily and pulling myself Back and further away from these communities that were once so supportive and encouraging and motivating. You see it with E2M. Like, people that disconnect from E2M, they. They regress at a rapid pace. Why? Because they don't have that same sense of support. They don't have that same sense of accountability. But when you're, like, dialed in and like. Like all in on that community, you have a sense of pride. You have a sense of, you know, I belong here, and people lift you up, and that's how you stay healthy. That's how you, you know, stay away from those mental health issues.
[00:10:27] Speaker A: Wow, man, that's deep.
[00:10:30] Speaker B: I got a little deep on it.
[00:10:32] Speaker A: Yeah, man. I mean, poor guy in solitary confinement, man. He's just. He's just dumping cigarettes.
[00:10:38] Speaker B: That's that. Okay, so listen, that was where this. That's exactly what the study was about, is prisons and how. How effective in a negative manner that, you know, being a solitude is. And a lot of prisons are actually getting away from that because it's. It's negatively impacting prisons.
[00:10:56] Speaker A: Yeah, I've heard that.
For me, long as the cell is big enough, I'm cool. Like, I'm claustrophobic. So if it. If it's small, now, we. We got issues. But if it's big enough, B, I'm good, man.
I got so many albums in my head. I got so many, you know, I mean, I'll be in there singing, and. I don't know, man.
[00:11:20] Speaker B: It's just.
[00:11:20] Speaker A: That's just the way I am. And. And I'm not an only child, you know, but my sister is years younger than me. She's like seven, eight years younger than me. So I was the only girl for a long time. So I. I figured out how to, you know, entertain myself. But sure, yeah, I. That, you know, Lord knows I don't want to go to prison ever. But, you know, I. I think it'll be safer in there than.
Than amongst the others, though. But look, that's a squirrel. Let's get off of it.
[00:11:52] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. And like I said, that was the research that I been recently diving in on, and. And these are credible resources, too. And I. I don't have my. My information.
I'm not even studying my sources right now. Somebody's like, let me look into that. Look into it, guys. And I. I think that's the. The important takeaway from this podcast today is, you know, know your facts. You know, look into this stuff. You know, if you're. You're experiencing some sort of Mental fatigue or mental illness or something along those lines. Or if you're feeling yourself pulling back and isolating yourself intentionally, like putting yourself away from, from family and away from friends, what happens is, you know, your emotional needs start to grow in a different way. Like, I used to be able to talk to my buddies about certain things. I used to be able to talk to my dad about certain things. And once I pull back those emotional restraints I start to. Or those, those emotional polls I start to put on other people like my wife or my kids, and then you start to see a negative impact. There's.
So what I'm, what I'm trying to say is don't isolate yourself. Don't take yourself and put that in solitude, man. Surround yourself with like minded people. It will pay off. Promise.
[00:13:04] Speaker A: All right, so, so that, right. I was hoping we had a solution, like you know, not just doom and gloom, but I actually, let's talk more practical. Be like, what, what are ways to do that? Because, say, hey, don't put yourself in isolation, you know, there. I know. You know, for my wife, you know, she, she was able to connect with local church, community group. You know, we had the E2M, you know, and we even have the, the premium has a community as well. If you ain't one premium, there's a community there as well.
What, what are some ways, man, to, to kind of get yourself out of that funk?
[00:13:40] Speaker B: I, you know, I think you have to start small sometimes, you know, like for guys like you and me, like, I'm, I'll call up my buddy tomorrow. Hey guys, let's go out for a drink or let's go out and hang out.
That's no problem for me. But some people are so deep into a corner that they just need a coffee, A coffee date with a family member or a coffee date with a, with a friend. And it doesn't have to start with a community. A community in, in really, by definition, a community doesn't have to be hundreds of people or thousands of people. It can be one or two people. Like, that could be your community.
And I think you have to start there, start small, right? Reach out to somebody that's incredibly close to you, whether that, that might even be your husband or wife, that might be your best friend or an aunt and uncle like you, like you saying, your cousin, somebody that's close to you and just say, hey, can we go grab a cup of coffee? Why?
Just, just want to chop it up. I just want to talk. I want to, I want to, I want to see Other people. I want to pull myself out of isolation the first time. It may be uncomfortable. Uncomfortable for you, but. But every time you can come back, it gets easier and easier. It's just like fitness, right? That first time. It's a tough workout, but it gets easier and easier and easier, and it, it becomes a part of your identity. So start with that one small thing. Whether it's a coffee date or, you know, have it having a friend over for coffee or, you know, just start small is what I, I don't want to ramble too much, but start small.
[00:14:56] Speaker A: I like it. You know, I, I do want to. I do want to correct something. You said it last week and you said it again. When you work out, it don't get easy.
[00:15:03] Speaker B: No, it doesn't.
[00:15:04] Speaker A: You get stronger. You get stronger, but it don't get easier.
[00:15:08] Speaker B: That's true.
[00:15:09] Speaker A: You know that. That's something.
Even with anything that you apply that to, whatever you do in repetition, you're going to get better at it.
But that same thing is going to be hard every time for somebody that's never done it before.
[00:15:23] Speaker B: Yeah. And. And I, I like that reminder, Dwayne, because when I get on my spin bike, my mind says, this is easier, right? It ain't easier. I, like you said, I am just physically and mentally stronger.
So your relationships with friends or family members, they won't essentially get easier, but you will gain strength mentally, you gain strength emotionally, your communication skills will improve. And then over time, what happens is now you're just chopping it up with three or four friends. Now you're part of a church. Now you're part of a fitness group. Now you're part of some sort of community.
And it builds up that family aspect. And like, like you, like you said, and you know, it. It probably never gets easier, but it becomes ingrained in you and you get stronger.
[00:16:10] Speaker A: Absolutely. Absolutely. So your homework that those that are listening, send this video to somebody in your community. Somebody. Because, you know, there's one side of the people that are isolated. If that's not you, there may be somebody in your life that is. Is going through that and you can be proactive in reaching out. And I bring that up because I always shout out, you know, Mr. Eddie for reaching out to me whenever, whenever I first joined and I had covet and I didn't, you know, post, he reached out to me and was like, hey, checking on you, bud. And, and that changed my life, like, literally. So take this video, this podcast, send it to somebody, say, hey, I was thinking about you. And when y' all hearing this part, that somebody sent this to you, that person really cares about you. That's why they sent the podcast. But I think that, you know, if you're not feeling isolated, if you're in a good place, that is the opportunity to look around, see who can I pull up, who can I bring in? Who, who's that person that when we all go to lunch, they stay back, you know, let me invite them next time, you know, be that light, be that person, man. So that's your homework assignment because everybody listen to the podcast, man. You guys are rock stars. Anyway, that's why y' all listen. So make sure you share this episode with them and send it to him direct. Send them a text like, hey, I think you could benefit from, from this, this episode, you know, and they'll check it out, especially if it comes for me and it's out the blue. They'll definitely take time. And we're about to end it, so it won't even be long.
They can knock it out. But, but yeah, I just want to put that out there for those. That's your homework for next week.
[00:17:43] Speaker B: And I want to shout out somebody as well. Poly, our guy. Poly. Yeah. You know, it's once every two or three months he'll, he'll shoot me a message on Instagram, hey, just thinking about you, you know, and, and you, all those things. And some, sometimes, you know, I'm feeling some sort of way negatively or emotionally or mentally. And I see that. And what does it do, right? What does it do when you receive that same message, Dwayne, what happens?
[00:18:06] Speaker A: It brings you up, man. It kind of makes you lift your head up a little bit. Somebody's thinking about you, somebody's cheering for you.
It gives you that reminder and then also prompts you to do the same for others.
[00:18:19] Speaker B: Yes, it's a two way street and it's a, it's a chain reaction, you know, so when Paulie messages me, I make it a point to message somebo that's close to me. Whether it's my mom or my, my sister, they're the, they're always the two that are most open minded to a motivational message.
But, but, but it's a two way street, you know, and, and like you were saying, maybe you needed this, that one of the, one of the listeners, maybe you needed this or maybe, you know, somebody that needs this. So two way street, you got to be open to the feedback, you got to be open to giving feedback or helping out. And, and I'll I'll.
I don't know if we want to end yet, but, you know, so I, so I talked to a college hockey team today as we're recording, but this past week, and about energy. And we, we've talked about energy so much and, and good energy is contagious, bad energy is contagious. And you know, when you're around nobody, you create the energy, and it's very difficult to muster up good, positive energy all by yourself. So I encourage you, get around positive folks, right? And, you know, once you're around positive folks, you start to see your life flourish a little bit, prosper a little bit. And I ended my, my, my hockey speech today with, with, with, with a, a fill in the blank kind of thing. I said, one rotten apple will fill in the blank. You fill in the blank. One rotten apple will what?
Fill in the blank. The rest of them spoil the rest of them. Wrong.
One rotten apple is going to spoil one apple, and that rotten apple may spoil another one until somebody decides to break that chain, right? And if I remove an apple that's touching the rotten apple, the rest of the apples will flourish. They'll prosper. So if you have that toxic apple or that bad energy in your life, you have to confront that bad energy. You have to confront that toxicity because remove yourself from it if you want to prosper. You want to be that red, shiny apple, don't be next to the rotten apples, don't be next to that toxic energy. And if you're not around any energy, make sure you get around that good energy.
[00:20:28] Speaker A: Till next time, folks.
