Episode Transcript
[00:00:02] Hi, I'm Dr. Charisse Johnson, a licensed clinical mental health therapist, mindfulness practitioner and author.
[00:00:09] One of my primary specialties is working with individuals who want to heal their relationship with food, their body and themselves. Welcome to Mindset Matters focus of today.
[00:00:21] Surrender is not suffering, releasing resistance and thriving through healthy habits. If you're in a place and have been in a place throughout life where you want to be, well, right first and foremost, what does that mean to you? I always encourage you to have a true and authentic definition of what does it mean to be well in my life? Because that's going to look different for you than it is for me. But once we've established that, then there is an aspect of us, there's an aspect of our lives and all the intricacies and layers that then has to say. It requires that there is some level of surrender. Eckart Tolle says that surrender is the inner transition from resistance to acceptance, from no to yes.
[00:01:13] So today our goal is to shift the script and talk about how surrender isn't giving up and it's giving ourselves over to what actually helps us thrive, mentally and physically. Because as long as we resist surrendering to our best selves and the health habits that allow us to sustain that, then there will be an internal and external battle that we really don't have to fight.
[00:01:43] Surrender is often misunderstood.
[00:01:46] So I want to kind of redefine surrender for you. I want you to think about it this way.
[00:01:51] Surrender is not defeat, it is not passivity, but it's the choice to stop resisting what we know supports our well being. It's moving with the current of health, not against it.
[00:02:08] I want you to think of how much energy we spend resisting routine or dreading consistency.
[00:02:18] And what if that same energy was redirected toward flow and toward peace? When I think about that, I think so much about the ways that we feel better when there's consistency, when we're like, this is just what I do, this is who I am. This is a part of my day. And then we. We abandon it for no apparent reason, only to have to work so hard to restart and reset.
[00:02:47] But there's a reason why this happens. Let's talk the neuroscience of resistance versus surrender.
[00:02:53] So the brain and the nervous system play a big role. The brain's default mode is to seek safety and predictability.
[00:03:01] So when we associate habits like healthy eating, sleep, or movement with restriction and punishment, our brain will perceive those things as threats, even though we know that they're good for us.
[00:03:14] How do you view movement, eating Eating well, sleeping right. If you see it as I have to exercise and move my body today, then the brain is going to be like, oh, okay, so we should fear that we don't want anything to do with that. Let's do something else. And then what happens over time is that chronic resistance will always equal chronic stress.
[00:03:40] It keeps the amygdala, which is the fear center area, one of the fear center areas of the brain, activated, and the prefrontal cortex, which is involved in our goals and decision making, offline. And that's going to make thoughtful decisions that much more difficult. I'm going to recap that chronic resistance equals chronic stress. And as a result, that you will operate more out of a place of anxiety and fear than you will the goal directed decisions that you want to make that are going to help you live your absolute best life. But when we surrender. Surrender shifts us into this parasympathetic activation. When you think about the parasympathetic nervous system, I want you to think about a parachute that drops down and saves you and allows you to land safely in whatever land you are protecting.
[00:04:33] When we surrender, it lowers our cortisol levels, it improves our digestion, our sleep and our emotional regulation. And it makes adopting habits feel easier because the brain isn't fighting.
[00:04:48] So here's like an anchor metaphor. Surrender is like exhaling.
[00:04:54] It's what allows your mind and body to stop bracing and to start healing.
[00:05:01] Doesn't that sound amazing?
[00:05:05] So what does surrender look like when it comes to health habits? Let's talk about some tangible tools. 1. Ritual over rigidity. So you want to replace strict rules with meaningful routines. So ask yourself, what ritual grounds me mentally and physically each day? Do you have one? If you don't, we need you to incorporate some 2. Identity based habits. Many of you might be familiar with the work of James Patterson and Atomic Habits. Phenomenal book that talks so much in depth about having identity based habits. So instead of saying things like I have to work out, you shift into I am someone who honors my energy. And I need you to say it with a little zhuzh, just like I did. Doesn't matter what gender you are, just a little I'm someone who honors my energy. That I am piece is a declaration to yourself and to anyone else who may be listening. Number three, Micro surrenders. Daily choices to release control, like resting when your body cues it or not over explaining your boundaries.
[00:06:18] No, no thank you.
[00:06:20] I no longer partake in that are all complete sentences. And number four, Love this one. Have a surrender script. So Encourage this simple phrase when resistance shows up, I surrender the fight.
[00:06:34] I choose what supports my healing.
[00:06:39] There's something about that that does something for me. I hope you're also feeling it. I surrender the fight.
[00:06:48] I choose what supports my healing.
[00:06:53] Here's a moment of self reflection that I want to invite you into.
[00:06:58] I want you to reflect on these three questions.
[00:07:03] First, where am I still resisting habits that actually serve me?
[00:07:12] Next, what belief makes me think surrender?
[00:07:17] Is suffering so important to get to the root of why you would value doing things that aid in your healing and wholeness as something that you would need to resist or give pushback towards?
[00:07:33] Last question.
[00:07:34] Where in my life could I surrender and lead to relief? If you ever thought about that, like true surrender to the appropriate dynamics in our life is not about resistance. It actually brings relief because we stop fighting with ourselves and surrender to the life that we were always designed to have in the first place.
[00:08:00] So here's something for you to journal on or think about in this moment. What's one health habit you're ready to stop fighting against and finally embrace just one? There could be a lot of them, but we can't do everything all at one time. What is one health habit?
[00:08:19] Call to action for you.
[00:08:21] I want to reinforce this message. Surrender is a bridge, not a barrier. When we stop wrestling with ourselves, we we reclaim the energy to rise.
[00:08:35] So this week, in the weeks ahead, I want you to choose one area of health, sleep, food, movement or mindset and practice surrender.
[00:08:48] Release the battle and let peace lead.
[00:08:52] Because anything that you accept fully will take you into peace.
[00:08:58] This is the miracle of surrender.
[00:09:03] As always, I encourage you to listen back, really reflect on the things that have been mentioned. Consider for yourself where you would benefit from a higher level of surrender and share this podcast with someone that may find it helpful. Continue to stay connected with me on social media platforms. I can be found under Facebook, on Dr. Cherise Johnson, on Instagram, under Dr. Cherisej. I would love to hear your insight, your comments, your takeaways, but most of all, I would love to hear your wins. And I want to remind you, no matter what, do not give up on your healing and your wholeness. We'll talk soon.
