Episode Transcript
[00:00:02] Mindset matters.
[00:00:04] Hi, I'm Dr. Charisse Johnson, a licensed clinical mental health therapist, mindfulness practitioner, and author. One of my primary specialties is to support people who want to heal their relationship with food and their body. Welcome to Mindset Matters. I get this question so, so much. Dr. Charisse. How can I stop turning to food when stressed? Let's first acknowledge that it's easier said than done. There is no such thing as a do these five steps and you will never turn to food again. That is not real. But there are absolutely coping skills and mindset principles that can support you in breaking the habit of using food as a source of comfort, as a source of guidance, as the coping skill that comes with consequence.
[00:01:10] Where I want to begin is really helping you understand when you are stressed what is happening in the brain and how does that correlate to the foods that you may reach for. You start off with some type of stressor. That stressor sends a rush, a flood of chemicals and neurotransmitters through your brain and your body into your adrenal glands and then produces cortisol. Cortisol is your stress hormone, that stress hormone. Then if we just look at this in terms of your. Your relationship with food and your relationship with your body increases and influences your appetite because it pushes your hunger hormones, your ghrelin, and that's going to influence your food preferences. So there's always going to be an emotional driver, an undertone, when we notice we're eating as a result of trying to manage our stress.
[00:02:13] A couple of other things to keep in mind about cortisol and how it impacts you when your body is flooded with cortisol. That also triggers that fight, flight, freeze or fawn mode. And you kind of pick one of them or all of them in various moments in time as a result of that, that's going to influence appetite. Cortisol also wears down the brain's ability to function properly. So it takes it offline because it disrupts your synapse regulation. Your synapses go through your brain and help monitor communication between your limbic system, which decides, is this a threat? Is this not a threat? And getting you to that prefrontal cortex, which is where we want to be because that is where we can make great decisions. Stress, adrenals, cortisol hormones throw it offline and disrupts that regulation. When that regulation is disrupted, you may find that you experience things such as frustration, detachment, feeling a little numb and avoidant of the situation you want to escape. And part of that escape can mean that you really go into some, what we call autonomic impulse, which is similar to automatic impulse. And if your autonomic impulse behaviors are centered around reaching for food because it's available, because it's easy, because it's a quick form of dopamine, which is that happy neurotransmitter, then as a result, you have then entered a cycle of emotional eating when it comes to stress. Now, there are moments where we are aware of this process, but then there are moments where it is so quick and so fast and so intense that we don't notice it until we're in it and until we hit that point of physical discomfort and we've eaten past our point of satisfaction. But all that being said, here's what I want you to understand.
[00:04:31] It is a process that happens in most brains.
[00:04:37] Everyone doesn't experience the same dynamic. And if you're wondering why, it depends on historical dynamics of trauma. It depends on access to coping skills that centered around food or didn't centered around food. For example, if someone grew up in a family where that family taught them them how to manage stress in a productive or adaptive way, then they don't have the same thought process around immediately going to food. Whereas if you grew up in a home where you were, let's say, a latchkey kid, or you were the adult child in your family, or there wasn't a lot of adults there and available to help you during stressful situations, then you may have been left to I just need to do what's available. I need to reach for whatever can help me navigate through the situation. And then if you add, if you have a family of origin that was also very centered around emotional eating, then their go to may have been, oh, you're having a hard time. Let me take you to get something to eat. Oh, don't cry. Let me give you something to eat. Oh, you're upset. Let me get you something to eat. So that can be a learned trait as well. Here's the great news. You can unlearn this pattern, but it is going to take effort. It requires you to be intentional about understanding the way that this shows up in your life. And it requires you to have vital habits, practices in place where you're learning to utilize coping skills that are not connected to food as a sense of release, as a sense of comfort, as a sense of balance. So understand that you're not stuck in the cycle of stress eating if you are willing to do the powerful and meaningful work that is required to step out of that cycle and the more that you shift your autonomic habits into, I'm going to go journal or I'm going to go do meditation, or I'm going to go move my body or I'm going to do something else to help manage my stress. The easier it will become and the less attached you'll become to that pattern. You can, I've done it, I've seen it. I've worked with individuals to get them there. You can move towards a place where you experience food freedom, which means that you are able to eat the things that your body needs. You're able to honor your hunger and your satiety and your fullness, and you're not afraid of food and you're not afraid. That fool owns you. That food owns you. It is real. It is very possible.
[00:07:41] So what can you do? One core skill that is necessary for us to manage stress without turning to food is self regulation.
[00:07:54] We have to understand what self regulation is. We have to practice self regulation. And practicing self regulation means not avoiding hard times, not avoiding difficult situations. So if anyone has ever said to you or if you've ever said to yourself, oh, well, what I do to help manage my stress eating is I just never keep any food in the house that I like.
[00:08:22] We're supposed to like food. We have taste buds so that food can be good and encouraging to our bodies and an enjoyable experience.
[00:08:34] So that's not necessary. It may seem easy in the short term, but it doesn't prepare you for life. It's not realistic that everywhere you go there will be no temptation. So you have to recognize that it's like a muscle. Self regulation is like a muscle that you build and you develop so that when you're in situations where you may be tempted to do things that are not in alignment with your values that you know and you're confident, hey, I've already put into practice, so I feel great about my ability to make choices that honor what I want to eat, but don't dishonor how I want to feel.
[00:09:12] So three ingredients of effective self regulation. Number one, standards. You want to have a standard in terms of your own quality of life? Do you have a standard when it comes to stress and how you eat?
[00:09:34] Notice I didn't say rule.
[00:09:36] Notice I didn't say forceful way to punish yourself. A standard is like something that I choose to align with because it matches my self worth and what I believe about myself and how I want to operate in life. The classic definition of standards is a mandatory requirement and condition that maintains your, your quality of life. I will say it again, A mandatory requirement and condition that maintains your quality of life. So that's the moment that you say to yourself, oh yes, I'm stressed, but I know how I want to feel when I wake up tomorrow. I know what this week will bring, I know what I need to get done. And I still want to show up in ways where I can meet that standard of care in my own life.
[00:10:42] So I'm not going to go overboard and then move myself into a food coma or do something that will dysregulate me in a way that's harmful.
[00:10:54] Standards within ourselves are powerful and they are a core ingredient to effective self regulation. Second ingredient is, is monitoring, observing and checking in and asking ourselves and am I making progress? Am I making progress in the ways that are important to me? Now, when I speak of monitoring, I am not talking about a my fitness pal or tools that can also create a level of restriction and rigidity. Now we do know from research that being aware of our intake can be a helpful tool in regulating our intake. But you also need to have a really great self awareness around. What does that need to look like for you? What do you need to observe and check? What are the signs that you are progressing and making forward progress that are healthy, that are sustainable and not triggering or activating or overanalyzing or putting you into this loop of confusion and rigidity? Someone remind me to come back to the dynamic of monitoring tools and how they may impact your mental health.
[00:12:25] But we want to make sure that there are ways to go. How do I feel? Am I? I love the very simple am I living well? Am I living well? Am I playing well? And how does that look in terms of the progress that I'm making? And it's an overarching way to really assess yourself and to reflect without becoming too stringent. Especially for my type A individuals, the third ingredient of effective self regulation is the capacity to change.
[00:13:00] It's important for you to believe and know you have the capacity to change. If you are telling yourself, I've always been this way, that is a mindset that I want you to challenge to expire.
[00:13:22] I wrote a book called Expired Mindsets and in that book it really speaks to the things that we say to ourselves or have said to ourselves in certain seasons, life, and then the moments that we recognize. If I continue to hold on to that belief, to that mindset, to that limiting core belief, it is going to hold me hostage.
[00:13:46] Maybe that's a action point for you at this point in our Time together. I would love for you to really take some time to honestly reflect and ask yourself, where am I speaking to myself in ways that is limiting my capacity to change. What do you really believe about your ability to change? I know that you can. And you might think, Dr. Shareese, you don't know me. You don't know how many times I've started and stopped or I feel like I failed. Even without me knowing that. Here's what I do know. I know the ability of the brain. I know that we all have the ability to increase our neuroplasticity, our flexibility, our cognitive flexibility. I know that because of neuroplasticity, the brain has the ability to create new synapses. Which means that every automatic habit that you have ever felt like you were in bondage to a new path, can be created. I know that for sure.
[00:15:00] I've researched it, I've studied it. I've even seen it in imaging of brain imaging and people's lives.
[00:15:08] So because of that, I know you have the capacity to change. But I also know you have to believe it. And if we don't believe in our capacity to change, then we're going to find it really difficult to regulate if we think we're destined to always do the same thing.
[00:15:28] Now, what causes a lack of self regulation? A few things. Poor mood. We can't always wake up with a great mood. Things are going to happen in life that challenge mood. And we may start off great and then feel like something has been knocked out of us. But we do get to choose how to respond to the things that impact us. So something coming that alters your mood outside of your locus of control.
[00:16:06] But you choosing to stay in that poor mood, that is on you. And when you make that choice, you set yourself up for dysregulation. Because when we choose to sit in a poor mood and we don't try to rise out of it, that spiral of low mood creates impulsivity, creates a low distress tolerance, a low threshold. And food becomes everything in those moments. Other things that cause a lack of self regulation. Stress. You have to manage your stress.
[00:16:54] When we also have impaired self control. Impaired because we've not done what we needed to to be disciplined and consistent. Self control is a practice. And each time we override our ability to choose things that are in alignment with our value, we impair our self control. And as a result of that, then it makes it easy to return back into that stress eating behavior. And then if we have a cycle of giving into impulse, you feel something you want something and you immediately grab it. Oh, you make that stress eating, emotional eating connection, that autonomic habit way too strong. So something that we really need to recognize, and maybe this is new information for you, a temptation and a craving actually only lasts 90 seconds. Genuinely, it only lasts 90 seconds. Everything else that happens after that 90 seconds is because of the narrative that we have around that temptation and craving. The story that we tell ourselves about how to manage that stressor and how we respond. So we fuel that 90 seconds and as a result of fueling it, it becomes bigger. And the more you fuel it, the easier it is to fuel it. And then that keeps you in that cycle of stress eating. But you can break it. And I'm going to tell you how, how to self regulate when you're overwhelmed. Let's talk through seven things. Number one, change your environment. This means actually getting up and moving to a different environment. Even if it's just for a few minutes, minutes. Because I realize you might be at a place where you're like, I really can't move. You can always move, even if you just go to the bathroom. You need to physically get up and move your body into a different environment. Now if you can get outside weather, permission, committing, and if you have access and opportunity and ability, that is top tier. Because the openness and the expanse of being out in nature, getting some level of fresh air, potentially sunshine, all of those senses really help reset the body's overwhelm. But change your environment. Number two, write down journal transcendentalism. In terms of writing about your stressor, that means you take five minutes, you have five minutes and you write down everything you think, everything you feel, you get out everything that's in your brain. Because a big part of what may maintain that level of stress that has us then reaching for food, that doesn't line up with what we value for ourselves over and over until we're in this comatose state. State is we have too much in our brain reflecting and ruminating on that stress. Now, writing and journaling is not rumination.
[00:19:55] Rumination is something that occurs when we pervasively and consistently and continually think about something over and over and over. And it disrupts what we need to be doing and we need to think about. This type of writing it down means you set a time, limited amount of time to write down all of your thoughts and your feelings and responses to the situation, situation that's happening. And the goal is at the end of that writing that you also identify something that you can do that is opposite of the impulse that you have. Here's what I can do for myself. You come to that, you write that down, you declare that you look at it, you read it, and then you move from thought to action by following through with what you've said to yourself. So it's not just a spiral of I'm saying all the things, I'm saying all the things, and at the end I'm identifying, how can I support myself in this moment if no one else does anything, if nothing changes, if this doesn't go away soon, what can you do to support yourself? And how do you do that on a consistent basis? Number three, exercise.
[00:21:04] Move your body. It doesn't matter if you've already exercised that day. The additional extra movement is one of the best ways to reset the brain and reset the nervous system from overwhelm. Here's what happens when you exercise near a stressful event. It helps reduce the brain chemicals, all of the cortisol and the adrenaline that has gone through your body because of the stressor exercise helps to use up those chemicals. The other thing that happens is when we exercise, it grows our hippocampus. And our hippocampus is a part of the brain that is specifically responsible for regulating mood. So exercise is crucial.
[00:21:52] We also know that a lot of times when we don't feel well and we're overwhelmed by stress, we have a tendency to stop moving our body. That's one of the worst things that you can do. It doesn't have to be triathlon type work, but mild to moderate movement is one of the most effective things you can do to disrupt the stress that will then lead you potentially to emotional eating or drinking.
[00:22:25] Number four, talk to a friend. Talk to a healthy friend, not a friend, who will further encourage you to do things that you're trying to move away from. Talk to a friend that can either just listen because maybe you're not looking for advice, you just need to verbally process what you're experiencing or talk to a friend that you know you can. Talk to them and the encouragement that they provide will be in line with how you want to treat yourself. Talk to a friend. That will help you maintain your standards.
[00:23:01] Okay, Number five, do something creative. Is it possible for you at some point in the day where it's stressful? Even if it's just for 15 minutes, it doesn't have to be long for you to do something creative that moves your mind away from the stressor and opens you up to something that is more sensory, more colorful. This is where things like Adult coloring books actually are fairly beneficial. Or if you're an individual who likes to work with your hands and you want to work on building something or knitting or crocheting, anything that really. Or pottery gets you into something tactile, but also involves your brain, but not to the degree that it's exhausting you is going to be helpful. You decide what creative is, and maybe that means that you need to get in touch with that part of yourself. And you might say to yourself, I don't even know what that looks like. Like for me. Well, here's your opportunity to figure that out because creativity is a very powerful aspect of giving us dopamine, that happy neurotransmitter that helps reduce stress. Number six, one of my favorites. They all are, but one of my favorites. Listen to calming music. Listen to ambient binaural B I n a u R a l or bilateral b I l a t e r l music, just to name a few. It could also be classical music, it could be acoustic guitar. You know what calms you. But there are certain kinds of music, there are certain sounds, there are certain hertz H e r t z of music that do specifically speak to the brain's waves and helps to calm us down. So maybe you create a playlist on your phone or have it saved on your computer. And then when you're moving into a place or a season where you're extremely stressful, you know that that's something that you can reach for before you reach for food.
[00:25:07] And then 7. Incorporate self affirmations. Your pep talk, or in the world of psychology, we sometimes call it your change talk. You want to make sure that in moments of stress that you're noticing. Is my mind going to those negative thoughts, those mindsets that I need to expire? Or am I speaking to myself in ways that affirm who I'm becoming, that affirm what I see in myself and what I want to be. Those are really crucial, important steps that you can take to support yourself.
[00:25:45] So how do you stop turning to food when stress? You start by incorporating these seven things, not just when you're stressed, but you want to incorporate them all the time. You want to make them a part of your day so that you're fueling your tank, filling yourself up so that when stress comes, it's automatic for you to engage in these behaviors. I often have the saying that you can't wait until the game to learn the plays. This is the playbook. These are the things that can help you. There's many, many more that we will continue to share over this time that we have together here in this space, but this is a great way to get you started. Work on incorporating one to two of these over the next month until you're like, I won't have a day, I won't have a week where I don't have my creative time because I enjoy it. And maybe you sign up for something that your creative time time because you know that that's precious to you, but you want to get ahead of the stress eating and do these things. Let me also add as a final thought, stress happens because something, a stimulus happens in the environment, in your life, in your mind.
[00:27:06] You can then incorporate one of these things before you reach for food or drink. And what that will do is it helps disrupt the part of you that goes automatically from stressor to eating. So you go from stressor to coping skill, self regulation, coping skill. And then you decide, if I eat or drink in the way that my brain wants to go, will that live up to the standard that I would like to keep for myself?
[00:27:39] How will that impact my capacity to believe that I can change and will it move me toward or away what I value and the progress that I desire? Thank you as always for joining me for another episode of Mindset Matters. As I continue to say each time, knowledge is not power without application. So please make sure that you take something that you hear and actually do it. I always want you to keep in mind that the information that I share with you is for educational purposes and should never replace the advice or recommendations of your care team, of your medical team, of the people in your life that know you personally and on a deeper basis or foundation. If you have additional questions or comments, please drop them below and I will make sure to come back and address them. I'm also open to continuing to hear more about what you would like to hear. Mindset matters. Now I got plenty. I have a whole list of things. But what you desire also matters. Have a phenomenal rest of the week and treat yourself well.
