The Boogeyman Theory: What's Really Holding You Back?

[00:00:00] Speaker A: What up, what up, what up, what up? Welcome back to the Bad podcast, Brad and Dwayne. And we're gonna get a little scary today. Brad, what we talking about, man? [00:00:08] Speaker B: We're gonna talk about the boogeyman. Some of you are letting something that's never happened, hasn't happened, won't happen, doesn't exist. Control your imagination and control your life. [00:00:26] Speaker A: Are you ready? Are you ready? What it looked like, would it be like, what it do Back in here, Another episode of the Bad Podcast, Brad and Dwayne, we're in here another week. Super excited to be coming through all the ways that you're watching. You're listening. We appreciate you guys. And my phone is going off, but either way I hear it, this real deal over here, man. So, man, another week. It's officially October. You guys know we've been recording ahead, but it is officially October. So we felt to get a little festive, man, and throw a little, little, little scare out there or find out there's really nothing to be afraid of, man. Brad. So before we get into. Brad, how you doing, man? [00:01:21] Speaker B: I'm doing good. It is the month of October and you know, we're going to talk about the boogeyman and some of the things that we feel year, but all is good, man. I started hitting the sauna again and I haven't, I haven't been on the sauna or the cold plunges in quite some time. So I'm doing, I'm doing anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes of cardio every day. Trying to hit the, the clanging bang again. Trying to get the weights a little heavier. Really just trying to put on some size. Since my bike ride, it has been a struggle. [00:01:52] Speaker A: Yes. It's not easy. [00:01:54] Speaker B: No, man, I, I, I've mentioned it to you and I've never really publicly said it, but I don't enjoy, like eating a ton. Like, I, I like eating, I like eating throughout the day, but I don't like consuming a bunch of calories. I don't like feeling full. I don't like feeling bloated. I don't, I don't feel like, I don't like feeling heavy. So that's my biggest struggle right now is just getting in the amount of calories I need to support everything I'm doing and still able to gain, you know, a pound a week or a couple pounds a week. So, yeah, things are good, man. How you doing? [00:02:27] Speaker A: I'm good, man. You know, I saw the, the picture you dropped. By the time this drop, you know, it's long gone. Y' all can scroll moons, but. But yeah, drop the shirtless flex. And funny enough, that must have inspired Jeff post that he dropped today about the male trainers. But I got a little beef. Y' all, please go scroll back on Jeff page. I got a little beef with this post because Jeff don't have his shirt on. Eric don't have his shirt on. Brad don't have his shirt on. Will don't have his shirt on. But I got my shirt on. I got plenty of shirtless in shape pictures, man. Jeff, you should have hollered at me. I gotta. I got a folder for you, bro. I was the only one not showing my sexy, man. I was a little. I was a little upset about that. [00:03:15] Speaker B: You know how he goes off the cuff. He probably went through his photo photos. [00:03:19] Speaker A: Ye. I know. [00:03:19] Speaker B: This is what I got. [00:03:21] Speaker A: I know, I know. Shoot me a text, man. I should. I got plenty, bro. Plenty of shirtless that I'm proud of. I can't do it today, but, you know, I got plenty. But. No, man, I. I like that for you. I know that's been a goal to, you know, because, you know, for whatever reason, I don't know, people thought you, you know, was a cardio slim run, but you always wanted muscle and size, man. And that's. That's never changed in our conversation. And so super excited for you for that man, on that journey. And I'm more. This is your homework, man. There's a. I'm gonna find it. There's a YouTube video of Phil Heath talking about, you know, off season, and he talks about, like, being tired of eating. Like, having to eat so much that he's tired. Like, he's always chewing. He's like, I'm eating seven hours a day. I was like, God, no. So anytime you feel like you. It's too much. Remember Phil? He was eating seven hours a day. [00:04:22] Speaker B: I. I remember watching the documentary on Jay Cutler, and he was waking up in the middle of the night. He would wake up at midnight, 3 o' clock in the morning, 6 o' clock in the morning, because he had to eat every three hours. And to sustain something like that, like, that's the next level. I have zero desire to be like that. But yeah, man, it's. It's been. It's been taxing because it's just like reminding myself to eat too, because you got to be on a schedule. You got to be regimented. And this. This doesn't really apply to our topic today, but it applies to everything that we do. And you know, just. Just talking about, like, writing things down, having a process, having a plan, like a blueprint. Like, it's. It's. It's imperative if you want to do anything. You want to lose weight, you want to gain weight, you want to do a marathon, you want to write a book, you got to have that plan set in place. And far too many people just kind of, like, aimlessly go out there and think that they're going to be able to accomplish this. Like, I have to write down what I'm eating, because for me to gain weight, like, I got to be up around 3,000, 3,500 calories a day just to gain, like, a half a pound a week. Like a pound a week. That. That's a lot of calories for me, and I have to document that because, you know, the. The. The weight's going to fluctuate. You know, you're going to have water weight fluctuate. You're going to have some people at that time of the month fluctuate. Like, there's going to be things. [00:05:39] Speaker A: Sodium, Stress. [00:05:41] Speaker B: Sodium. Yeah. Like, there's so many contributions to your weight loss and weight gain. And if you're not documenting and, like, keeping track of macros, micros, weightlifting, you know, you know, at the entire product, we go on and on about this. But if you're not tracking your progress, you know, what are you doing? Like, you're. You're. You're missing out on a key element in. In weight gain and just fitness in general. [00:06:06] Speaker A: 100. 100. All right, now to get off on a tangent. Oh, man. [00:06:12] Speaker B: You know, I. I like to chop it up, like, real time. Like, sometimes, folks, we. We like to have some notes and, like, have. Speaking of a plan to process and blueprint, we like to stick to a plan. We like to stick to a process. But Dwayne and I just like to chop it up and. And, you know, real talk with you guys, and I think that's the most enjoyable piece of getting on here weekly for me, anyway. [00:06:34] Speaker A: Absolutely. Yeah. Same here, for sure. [00:06:36] Speaker B: All right, let's get into it. [00:06:38] Speaker A: Yes, sir. Back to work. [00:06:40] Speaker B: That was the intro, ladies and gentlemen. [00:06:42] Speaker A: Yeah, man. [00:06:44] Speaker B: Okay, so real life stuff going on in the Barmore household. My kids are afraid to be upstairs by themselves. They got the boogeyman. Fear deeply instilled. Right? And this is how things like this happen. So Beckett never had fear of being upstairs by himself. Never in a dark room by himself. Rush is certainly, like, he's only three. He like, please, you're not gonna scare me. But so one day, one of his buddies was at school, Beckett's buddies was at school, and he was talking about this boogeyman concept, right? And he. He instilled this illusion, this hypothetical nothing, this. This whisper in the wind into my Beckett. And now all of a sudden, we have this fear, and some people may be hearing this topic and like, hey, how does this relate to what we do? Guys, this is. This is fitness in a nutshell. This is starting a business in a nutshell. We have these conversations, and we start to build up these stories in our minds. Well, I'm not worthy. I'm not beautiful. I'm not strong. I'm not fast. I'm not capable of doing those things. And, guys, it's the same. It's the boogeyman theory. I guess you can call it the boogeyman theory. [00:07:55] Speaker A: I like it. [00:07:57] Speaker B: Yeah, we. We. We. We negotiate with these imaginary consequences. Well, if I started this business and X, Y, and Z takes place, it may set me back 15 years. But what if. What if you never take action on that thing? Well, if I start this fitness endeavor and I fall flat on my face, all these people are going to laugh at me. Well, what if you never start it? Like, you're talking yourself out of it because you have formed an idea in your mind, an illusion of. Of literally a hypothetical circumstance that may never occur. But if you never give it a shot, like, you never face your fears, you're never going to find out the boogeyman ain't real. [00:08:36] Speaker A: That's real, man. No. 100%. My. My baby girl is in that stage of not wanting to be upstairs alone or, you know, if she's in the shower, I want to make sure somebody's upstairs. And. Yep, you know, or could we keep the dogs upst. And, like, you know, I tell. Let the dogs out. I was like, let dog. She running back down. Like, what happens? Like, I felt like somebody was up here. I was like, come on with me. Nobody's up here just being you. Yeah, but it's amazing how something that. It doesn't exist and it affects you so much, you know, and you. It paralyzes you. It keeps you from moving, progressing. It is fear of, you know, fear of failure, fear of disappointment. You know, those are all the same. It's all locked in with the boogeyman. Like, it's not. It's not there. You know, you're creating it in your mind, and it's not. It's not an actual thing. And it's. You know, Coach Alicia says you Know, you, you, you, you're putting stock in the wrong. What if, instead of, what if it goes bad, what if it goes good? Like, flip that, you know? And I think that that's just super imperative when you're just talking about people that are scared to take that step, scared to, you know, start a weight loss journey, scared to start a, you know, lifting weights and getting stronger. It's a fear. And, and it's not real. It's not real. It's, it's something you put in your mind that does not exist. [00:10:04] Speaker B: Right? Yeah. And it's, it's, it's sad to even talk about the kid aspect because they, like, have so much anxiety of this thing that doesn't exist. But, you know, we take a step back and we look at our children and we're like, hey, like, it's, there's literally nothing upstairs. There's nothing under your bed. There's nothing in your closet. Like, we, we're, we're, we're, we're telling our kids that. Yet every day, like, there are so many possibilities that could go right, like you're saying. And instead of, like, just taking that one step to move forward or advance, we, we take steps back thinking, man, I, I, I shouldn't do this because my best friend will, will laugh at me. My, my mom and dad, they'll, they'll, they'll judge me, right? For me, like, taking, taking myself out of the educational field, like, that was a massive, massive leap in my life because that, like, I spent years, years getting an associate's, a bachelor's, and then a master's in physical education. And for me to take that leap, like, I had to face the boogeyman, I had to go toe to toe. I had to go all, all the rounds. I don't know how many rounds, how many rounds are in a boxing match these days? I don'. Rocky days it was 15. But I had to go toe to toe with the boogeyman for 15 rounds. And, and, and you know, when you, when you go and, and take that step back and think, man, my kids are afraid of nothing. Well, so are you. And we feel as if the boogeyman is blocking the door or these fears are blocking the door from our next opportunity and the next possibility in our lives, no, it's you. You are blocking the door. The boogeyman ain't blocking the door. You are blocking your own door. You are stopping your own possibilities and your own opportunities. You got to go out there. If you have a dream, you have an idea that you know, that could help you or help somebody else, then go pursue that sucker. And, and as always, man, your spirit, chase it. That's. That's what I'm on every day, all day. [00:12:05] Speaker A: Yeah, man, I love that phrase. And when you started dropping that fear, chase it. That's, that's so real because, you know, so many people, they run in the opposite direction. You know, they, they, they see it and like, oh, oh, well, you know, I'm not, I'm not going that way, you know, And I think the, the interesting thing is, you know, I get. I could pick on my wife because she's mine, but she, she gets anxious about stuff that already. Like, let's say we went down the street in the car and came back and she, she gets anxious about what if when we came back, the house is on fire? What. I was like, none of that stuff happened. Like, why even, why is it part of your mind like, what we. We are here in the house, we're finally, you know, and, and you, you can even get caught up on. On something. Even after the result, you know, after you achieve something, you can still get caught up on, you know, what, what are they going to think about this? Or, you know, what? My co workers don't think about my weight loss, or what are they gonna say? It's, it's stuff that ain't even happened and you've created it and you, you put a personal thing in a way, man, it, it blows me away. There's. I mean, I'm not Superman. My. I, I fear I'm, I'm a claustrophobic guy. I fear enclosed places. That's real. That's. That's real. Like, that's not a, you know, you put me somewhere like that. I get, I get anxious. But when it comes to, when it comes to stuff that don't exist, things that, you know, that roadblocks or whatever in my mind is not so much, man, because I, I, for me, just, I think in it, it has a lot to do with upbringing. And so, you know, I just was put in a place where I always saw positive. I always saw, you know, a good outcome. Even when stuff is bad, there's something from that, you know, even with my belief, like, even when things are bad, like, hey, yeah, well, I trust them. Like, it's, there's no. For me, I already know the end of the story, which is. It's a win. You know what I mean? And so, yeah, everything in between is, Is like that. And I think if we can. And it's not easy. We're not. I'm. Listen, I'm not saying tomorrow you're going to be over it. You listen to this podcast the same way I walked my daughter through the house, told her nothing was up there. She's still nervous about it. I'm not saying it's not going to be. It's going to be overnight. I'm saying that you can start now because this might not have been something you've addressed in your life. And so you can start now and say, hey, what am I really afraid of? You know, Brad and Duane was talking about that. What is that thing? And, you know, and eventually, the more you dissect it, then hopefully it'll help you do a turnaround. [00:14:47] Speaker B: Yeah, I think that's a great point to bring up, like, identifying the thing that you're afraid of. Like, you don't want to sign up to run or walk a 5k because you're scared of something. Like, are you scared of the work that you're going to have to put in? Because a lot of people know what it entails to transform their bodies, transform their finances, transform their life. And maybe it's the work that you're afraid of, or maybe you're afraid of the judgment, or maybe you're afraid of something completely out, completely different. Like, I think it's important that you identify that. That fear that you have in the process of pursuing something that could be valuable to your life and understanding this. And I think this is really important too. Like, there is. [00:15:31] Speaker A: There. [00:15:31] Speaker B: There is no certainty if you take action, but there is certainty if you don't take action. And a lot of people to move forward, they're waiting for that certainty. Like, if I start this, are you telling me I'm gonna lose 50? Are you gonna. Are you telling me that a lot of people need that certainty to. To take that one step, that initial step, and. No, there is no certainty that you're going to lose 50, but there is a certainty that you won't lose 50 if you don't go. Go into that. That. That. That chapter or whatever that. Down that. Down that journey. And, you know, a lot of us, we. We don't want to take those risks, and we start to justify those fears. Like, well, if I. If I start cutting out cheeseburgers, if I start cutting out milkshakes, it's. It's going to make me really sad. And far too many people, they. They're so in the moment, right? They're so in the moment. And when you avoid those things, good or Bad. It makes you feel, makes you feel like yourself in the moment. But you're doing yourself a disservice long term. You're doing yourself some, some misjustification long term. You know, make the difficult decision. Find the thing that you're afraid of. Go after the, the, the, the dream that you've always had. And like Dwayne said, identify what you fear. Ask yourself, why aren't you, why aren't you going after what you want? Why aren't you going after that fear? Why aren't you going after that dream and then attack it? This is why I'm not going after, I'm afraid of judgment. Ain't nobody gonna judge, right? People point, people point fingers at winners, right? Like if you see Tom Brady out and about, people are going to be pointing, people are going to be talking. But if I see Jimmy, Jimmy Smith and he ain't doing nothing with his life, I'm not talking about him. I'm not pointing at him. I'm not, I'm not doing anything with him because he's not significant, right? He's not doing anything that other people aren't doing, doing. Right? Be different. Be uncommon. Go after those fears. Get that boogeyman. Kick that sucker in the nose. [00:17:50] Speaker A: Apologies for any Jimmy Smiths that are doing well out there. [00:17:54] Speaker B: I don't know any Jim Smith. I, I, I went, I tried to go very, very traditional. [00:18:01] Speaker A: Jimmy Smith. And hey, if you're doing well, drop it in the comments. We want to give you a shout out. Oh, no, that's, no, that's good, man. [00:18:11] Speaker B: Know anybody. Jim Smith, you tag him. [00:18:13] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, tag all the Jim Smiths out there. Tell them, hit us up. Show him some love. But, but no, man, that, that's so good, man. That's, that's, that's point, spot on. You know, dissect it, attack it. Go after it, man. Don't, don't let it paralyze you, you know, And I know this is the, this is the month of spooky, scary, all that, you know, And I mean, just same way with movies, man. You know, as a kid I, I feared movies. Like, movies terrified me. Like the, it had me in the chokehold for years. You know, that was, that was a rough one. You know, I was a kid that was scared of the Incredible Hulk, you know, my man, the original joint flu, when he flipped over that to, yeah, Luke, man, when he flipped over that table, man, that, you know, that, that, that got me, bro. But, you know, over time I realized, hey, that, that's an Actor. That's acting. It's not real. And it took me identifying what. What's the thing that scared me, why am I scared of it, you know, and then going from there, man. So that's kind of the message today, you know, kind of going into it. But it's funny, when you originally jumped on and was talking about a boogeyman, I thought about the new series on. On Apple tv, Widow's Bay, which. There's a boogeyman that, like, each episode is like something a little, you know, and it's a. It won a lot of wars, man. So if y' all want to check it out, if you're not too spooked out. But the boogeyman is part of Widow's Bay. Yeah. So Widow's Day. Yeah, man. It's on Apple tv. But it's a really good series. It got a little spook to it, but it also has some humor to it. But that's immediately where my mind went. I was like, you know, and. And again, a fictional character, something that is not real, an actor, not a real threat there for entertainment. And, you know, we advise you, don't be entertained by. By the. By the spookies, man. Go straight at it and attack it, man. So, Brad, what you got in closing? [00:20:16] Speaker B: Well, my mind always goes to Michael Myers and the movie Halloween, because they. They reference Michael Myers as the boogeyman. And I want you to think about this, folks. All of these kids that are running from Michael Myers, they're running from the boogeyman. That, that boogeyman is always going to catch up, right? The thing that you fear is always going to catch up. So I want you to think about that kid hiding. Hiding under the covers. Running from what they're afraid of. Terrified of the boogeyman. Now ask yourself, what are you hiding from today? Is it rejection? Is it failure? Is it judgment? The boogeyman doesn't have to be real to stay steal something from you. Stop letting imaginary feel fears dictate your reality in your future. [00:21:00] Speaker A: I like it. Till next time. Boom.